So since becoming a mum I appear to have perfected the evil eye. You know when you glare intently and rather angrily at a stranger or heck maybe even someone you know. You see I have certain expectations of other people when I am out and about with my son and if these expectations are not lived up to well I give them the evil eye. I am not a big fan of shopping on Saturday's as you have to manoeuvre through a pedestrian traffic jam. The thing is I thought that pushing a stroller/pram/buggy gave you the right of way...obviously I am the only one who read that part of the highway code! Most buildings have stairs, escalators or lifts (I say most because I am yet to find a flat that we like where we don't have to combat stairs to go out or come home) and you should only use the lifts when you need to and NOT just for convenience so I have to join a cue...obviously a rule I only abide by. I won't talk about taking public transport. I worked with children with disabilities so I was half prepared and at least never had any expectations there....Wow! It feels very sad to write that. It has reached the point that if someone offers to do something for me I am rather dumbfounded and something else I have perfected...stare at them in bewilderment...Are you sure you want to help us?
I'm a practising Catholic and so is my husband so my son has been christened into the Catholic faith. We go to Church pretty much every Sunday...we have missed the odd week and lots of times we have not had a good excuse! I enjoy going to Church, it makes me feel uplifted at the end....and it's the only place I can sing freely with only my husband covering his ears. At the minute it's hard to stay too focused on the homily with a squirming 7 month old and we do the usual hide at the back and will probably doing that for a few years to come. If I have a problem I usually turn to God and if I have family friends who have a problem I usually turn to Him again. I can be bad and forget some days not to pray because I don't have a problem but now with my son I seem to say "Dear Lord...." everyday anyway. I enjoy being a Catholic and am not afraid to admit being a Catholic and my confidence in there being a God who looks over and protects my family. You see though unless you asked me it's probably not something I would mention. I don't try and 'sell' my religion to others and may not be that good about arguing for my faith. It's always been my personal thing.
Yesterday a young man stopped me. He did not have to say anything. His beige trousers and white shirt gave him away immediately....a Seventh Day adventist. He only asked for a moment of my time and I immediately brushed him off and said "Not today sorry". His response "So when would be a good day?". I just kind of mumbled and kept walking. When I think about how it irks me to see what some of the youth of today get up to why could I not give 5 minutes to a young man that just wanted to talk to me about God. So he is of a different faith, I could have easily explained we are practising Catholics and are happy.
I don't want my son to feel forced into believing anything. Yet I honestly want him to learn some good values which I think you can learn from religion even if he chooses not to take it too seriously. So when would be a good day? I think I should have said everyday...not just for Sundays.
Music is big in our household. It's not just a hobby or pastime for my husband it's a passion that can cheer him up when he's down! His CD and record collection is rather extensive and the range of music on offer is from punk to reggae to classical. My son has been listening to music since he has been in my belly, and no not just in an effort to make him smarter but we really hope he learns an appreciation for music. So our belief is that the earlier we introduce him to it the better. So how excited were we to hear that the Scottish Chamber Orchestra where doing a special concert for babies and children! What's that you say? Mummy and Daddy can enjoy it as well.
It was held at St Andrew in the Square today in Glasgow. At a baby friendly time of 11am. Everything was set up to make parents, babies and toddlers feel welcome and comfortable. There was buggy parking, baby changing and room for manoeuvring. Yet it was not your typical baby sensory, bounce and rhyme time. Even though it was child friendly it was children being able to experience a proper classical concert just well with...you know...added noise. The conductor, Howard Moody, was actually enthused by the noise, it certainly did not deter him from explaining each piece as he tried to "connect" with his audience.
Whether my son "enjoyed" it is debatable. He did not cry and he was certainly busy observing everything that was going on. For us as parents though it was definitely a great step in building his musical repertoire even if it was more subliminal than in your face action songs or my son's favourite Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Every time I look at my son's clothes for the next size up I always can't help but think to myself "He will never fit into that!" When he was born he was a whopping....wait for it....7lbs...okay when I was pushing he could have been 10lbs for all I knew! All the 0-3 months clothes just did not fit and out ran daddy to buy some of the much smaller newborn stuff. I guess that is where it all began where I just keep thinking he is usually about a month behind in clothes size. I don't know though if it is just because we spent the most of his 6 month on holiday in Italy but the 3-6 months stage just seemed to pass by real quick and all of a sudden his clothes just were not fitting and here we are already at the 6-9 months stage. It was so hot in Italy that he lived in onsies that he barely even got to sport all the cute t-shirts and shorts that I got him and well let us not talk about the Scottish summer. Thank goodness for all those smart relatives and friends who wisely bought him bigger clothes as presents otherwise he would have had nothing to wear. Of course as a mum you get wiser as well and try to resist the temptation of "oh that outfit would be so cute" when you know he will probably only wear it once. I have learnt to love sales and even better second hand. Now I know why so many younger siblings have suffered over the years of being stuck with your brothers and sisters hand me downs. Babies just grow too fast.
So it's official, I will be a working mum in the next 3 weeks. I am now seriously experiencing back to work shades of grey. You see I am not really feeling blue or am I really feeling a red, orangey, yellow colour. I want to go back to work and for my sanity I probably need to as well. Stay at home mums...I salute you! The thing is though I am great at saying I want some mummy time but when it's offered I immediately think of a reason why it's probably better if I stay with my son. At the minute I am only really comfortable leaving him when I know that he is tucked up safely in bed. Now I have to leave him for the WHOLE day. Yes I am not just going back to work part time either...full time 9 to 5. That is what I hope as well cause I have just got a position in social work so the likelihood of having to do overtime is very well likely! It does not help that for various reasons I have been out of work for a year. So I am not exactly going back to a job that I know everything about. This is my FIRST social work job....eek! Then this is the cherry on top...it's in a field of social work that I have NO experience in. At the minute I don't even have time to feel the guilt cause I am seriously feeling the nerves.
I'm not feeling sad and I'm not feeling happy more like inbetween.
My son might not be too happy that I am sharing this part of his life with you but with the good comes the bad and the ugly.Yes I have bred a poo monster. I have not done it intentionally and guess it's all part and parcel of being a baby. Yet someone seriously needs to explain to me how someone so small can produce so much poo! Since we have started weaning it's been amazing. We get at least 4 or 5 dirty nappies a day. The health visitor asked me recently about his poo, you know how often, colour ect? and I just laughed. Well it depends on what he ate I said. She just said ok that's all I need to know. Maybe that's all you need to know and probably want to know as well.
So I am braving the more public blog world and attempting to take part in some mammasaurus fun. The idea is rather simple for a Saturday...post a photo and readers can come up with a caption using the comments space below.
So can you think of a caption for this photo. Happy Saturday!
Friday has a way of creeping up on me and worse when you have been stuck in bed all day with the cold...hence it is rather late in the day when I realise damn I have neglected to post my Friday song choice. This is a special song choice today. You see my mother said to me the other day that she hopes I am planning to teach my son about Jamaica as "He needs to know about where he comes from!". Of course her close friend's daughter lives in Canada and is teaching her little girls all about Jamaica and they know that it is a small island in the Caribbean sea. Chat bout! Of course I am going to teach my son something about Jamaica. I tried to look about Jamaican children songs but did not get very far with that for some. Then I remembered this song as a part of my childhood...I had to dance to it when I was in prep school for the Christmas Concert even...and who better to sing it that Miss Lou. So here you go...
Ok so maybe the title would be more suitable to when my son starts walking but hey ho I could not think of anything catchier and as this blog is about me and my son I just had to boast about his latest achievement.
Yes that is it we are finally sitting up, unaided for several minutes. We still get the occasional topple backward, sideways, forwards mind you so we have to watch him, but I can actually get up walk away and take a picture and he is still there. It seems as soon as my son turned 6 months it was suddenly the excuse he needed to start doing everything or maybe in the good old child development world that is when most things start happening anyway.
Now that I have boasted I must say that he is not all that concerned about it. We went back to swimming classes today and as usual he was the 'baby', I mean youngest. He was very observant of all these crawling and walking babies and I have a feeling that is what he is more keen on accomplishing! I don't know how keen mummy is about that one.
Recently a very close friend lost her precious son who was born prematurely. I have yet to try to begin to feel or understand what she must be going through. He was a twin and now all energy is being pushed to get her to focus on her little girl who is thankfully and we pray who will continually keep growing stronger. It made me hold my son very close all day the day I heard. I tried to smile and feel happiness all day as my son is a sensitive wee soul and picks up rather quickly on my emotions. Inside I was crying. It was one of those days when I really felt far away from "home".
These days my son is always on the move...rolling onto his front, then back onto his back and again onto his front to the point where I am now seriously considering installing some soft play mats against the wall to stop the inevitable head butt which is bound to happen. Then this evening we had a moment...he stopped. He lay on my lap with his feet in the air happily singing to himself enjoying my kisses and cuddles. No trying to wiggle away which inevitably usually happens these days. Hubby put on some classical music and went to make the tea. I started blowing some bubbles for my son and for some reason today he became extra transfixed and sat close with mummy watching them float into the air.
After recently spending many weeks with the grandparents and relishing the now rare occasion to spend time alone with hubby it's been a while since it's been just me and my son. I know he is going to grow fast (he already is) and now more than ever I understand the need to stop....and enjoy quality time.
Sometimes you don't realise how lucky you are. I am not sure if this song actually expresses what I feel today as a very close friend of mine received some horribly sad news last night. In my sadness I thought of this song a special favourite of mine.
So my son got a new toy while we are here in Italy and when you pull the string it plays the tune It's a small world after all. He loves it...mummy not so much though as the music lasts all of two seconds and you have to pull the string again before my son starts giving me dirty looks. The theme of said song is given away in the title that we have so much in common we must recognise that it's a small a world after all. I really used to be a true believer in such a statement...until I had a child....after two seconds the world don't seem so small any more.
I try my best not to become frustrated at the different beliefs, ideas, morals, ethics about how to raise my son. My son has a very multicultural background with a Jamaican mum and an Italian father which only makes matters more difficult when it comes to recieving 'advice'. Here in Italy women faithfully follow what their pedeatricians tell them (which in itself can be different advice when you speak to the different mums) while in the UK women blatantly lie in the face of the health visitor (again offering different advice when you speak with different mums) while they carry on doing their own things. They don't have Gina Ford or Annabel Karmel in Italy and Jamaica. My sister is a pedeatrician and often scoffs at the advice I have been given in the UK, tells me to worry less about their rules and just do something else completely different.
When my son decides to do things differently I am told every baby is different. In the end he depends so much on me but I have to put a lot of trust in him that he will show me some of the way.