I gave up on this being a week where I would get to take the wee man out for some proper fresh air. It had been raining for a full 48 hours non stop! Friday we woke up to pretty much the same. It was at least being slightly temperamental and we were seeing some sunshine so I felt guilty when I tweeted about being defeated by the weather and no country kids post! After all our motto is "whatever the weather!" So with a break in the rain in the afternoon we hurried out on our bike to the park. The sunshine did not last long and the rain was soon upon us. I watched others running quickly away and well we pulled our hoods up. I ignored when it turned to hailstones. Someone must have been watching over us as a friend from his nursery turned up as well and they had great fun running around after each other with wet bottoms and mindless of the weather. In the end the sun even showed his face again. We are trying our best to stay true country kids!
"I want...." My wee man begins most of his sentences these days with "I want". If you are lucky you might get a please at the end. If he does not get what he wants it usually means a complete breakdown in any sort of good behaviour. Increased comprehension has appeared to have brought with it an increase in the pushing of the boundaries. There is this expectation that he will always get his way in the end no matter what. You say no more to something because he is not being very good and well he cries for a bit and tries his luck by asking again for the same said thing you have just taken away. If I am lucky I can just about distract him with something else before we both lose complete control. I ask him to do something and when he says no I do it for him only to be shouted at that he wanted to do it himself. It's not until nap or bedtimes that I realize the emotional weight I've been carrying and I just don't have the energy left to do anything with myself.
Each day I find myself reassessing my parenting skills. I feel like I have tried everything and nothing. I try not to but I wonder what others must be thinking as they listen to my child screaming inconsolably as I tell him that yes it is time to go now. He is yet to win a battle but I have this overwhelming sense that he is still wining the war.
So I have finally discovered the true meaning of unconditional love. I will always have to give him a 100% of me no matter how much of it he throws back at me. It's refraining from saying never again. It's knowing that every day is a new day. Every kiss, and hug, and cuddle is a treasure to me. It's remembering the good times and moving on from the bad. This morning was a difficult morning and he cried his way through to his bedroom for his nap. He wanted me to sit with him. I made him ask me nicely but I sat with him for a bit until he rolled over. Then I kissed him on his forehead and told him I loved him because I love him no matter what.
My wee man really loves painting. It's turning into an activity that can occupy him a whole morning. I am really trying my best these days to make the most of his eagerness to explore different materials and see "how you do?" What a simple and great idea I found on my favourite spot the Imagination Tree. All it involves is a salad spinner and some paint. It's a great way for him to keep exploring different shapes and this time he even helped me cut them out. Then we just used blue tack to hold the shape in place. The wee man maybe got a bit over zealous in the amount of paint he squeezed into the salad spinner but all part of the fun. A great tip is to try and keep the blobs of paint in the middle and after a spin once you can add more blobs to the same shape if you want to fill out with some more colour. For the last one we used some shiny paper which added great effect too and the paint seemed to slide nicely across it. Of course I'm not sure what made him think about it but he also asked to add some glitter. All I can say is Damien Hirst eat your heart out!